The Average Length of Sex Is Difficult To Determine
Firstly, it should be understood that there is no agreed upon method for measuring what constitutes “sex.”
For some men and some studies, sex is strictly comprised of intercourse; lasting from insertion through the completion of the male orgasm. In other cases, it can include foreplay and the amount of time necessary for both partners to achieve climax. Again, there are two main questions that require answers:
1. When does sex start?
2. When does it end?
These are only two of the reasons there doesn’t appear to be general consensus for how long sex should last.
The bottom line is there has been very limited research based on this particular question to date. Broadly speaking, the most cited studies consider only penile and vaginal intercourse. This naturally only takes into account heterosexual relationships however, and also bases results only on the time leading to male orgasm.
Understanding what you and your partner both desire, and working to achieve that satisfaction together is far more important than racing an imaginary clock. Pleasure for all parties involved should be your first and foremost concern in the bedroom, and keep in mind that preferences for shorter or longer sessions are as varied as the individuals participating.
While being too hard on yourself for your average sex time isn’t helpful. With that in mind, there are several techniques that can be implemented to either shorten or lengthen the time you and your partner require for maximum enjoyment that can be practiced in tandem with the guidance of a sexual health professional.
At the end of the day, personal preference trumps everything else. Because there are so many ways to define what constitutes sex, as well as how long the act should last, it’s essential not to compare your performance with that of anyone else’s. The lack of clarity is a gift in this manner, allowing you to instead focus on what’s best for you and your partner.