Therapy for infidelity usually begins with the therapist creating a safe and supportive space for each partner to share their feelings, needs, and relationship goals. Reasons for the affair may be explored to gain greater awareness about the root causes and the couple may decide whether to mend or end the relationship.
If saving the relationship is desired, a skilled couples therapist can support the couple with tools to help improve communication and to facilitate repair. What is needed to restore trust and safety in the relationship can be explored and practiced in the healing process.
A therapist can also work with the couple to help address what is not working in the relationship, including unhealthy patterns such as codependency and self-blame. A therapist can help the couple improve and change ineffective ways of communicating such as stonewalling, criticism, defensiveness, and contempt.
Couples therapy can look very different depending on the therapeutic orientation, personality, and practice style of the therapist and unique dynamic and presenting issues of the couple. It is important to find a therapist that each member of the relationship feels comfortable working with. Interviewing multiple therapists is highly recommended.
